such a nice feeling

before i close my eyes
before i fell asleep
before i have a dream


till the moment i wake up

all. i. can. think. of. is. you.

such a nice feeling

very often i've tought i have let you go. but yesterday the dream was so vivid.

i am missing the moment. but i have never wanted you back.

the idea is: to relax.

breath in and relax. its not the amount of air you're healing, but it's how you control it.
breath out slowly, as if you have the air all for your life.
relax. relax. take it easy.

Yerp. I am defintely having it.

The Quater-Life Crisis- by unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

I'll Come Running, I Go Running Home...

Drowning in a sea of tears
Hatred trying to hide your fears
Living only for yourself
Hating everybody else
Cause they dont look like you


finally, i go to belajar swimming! punya lama suda aku cr kelas berenang ni. disebabkan teda source yang best and teda member, hasrat itu hampir terpadam. accidentally pula semalam ada member mummy yang brought up this topic. well, a very good coincidence!

instructor dia hensemmmmmmmmm..... berkobar2 aku belajar. kalau boleh sengaaaja lambat2 mau pandai. hehehe....

tapi tadi aku hampir2 drowning oh! the cegu bilang, rilek dulu.he go swim somewhere else aku ingat dia ada dekat2 aku! so aku pula pandai2 pegi menyelam.

mula-mula to ok. reach the bottom of the pool, tp sekali bila mau naik ndak pandai sampai-sampai!

my tangan is menggapai-gapai on the air and slowly masuk dalam air. try to grab the tebing, it looks dekat sekalinya tidak tergapai! i was a bit too far from siring (read: tepi).... then i started to panic when run out of air. gila! wanted to shout HELP but cannot lah, dalam air! i kuntau (read: bergerak2) as hard as i can trying to keep my survival. hoping myself will float miracle-ly, and the cegu will come to resque..... tp tiada! lama juga aku dalam air tu, and the perasaan, sangat gila i tell you!

it's like, feeling your life to be taken away, slowly, with eyes wide open... totally helpless.

sangat mengerikan. sampai aku tidur tadi aku terbawa-bawa perasaan tu.. :-s

luckily ada saturang amoi come to rescue. pergi bawa aku to tebing. terbatuk2, and definitely starving for air! TQVM. if not because of you, then definitely by now, stadium likas will become the great legend because of its hunted swimming pool...

thanked to be Alive. praise to Allah.

moral of the story: patuhilah nasihat guru.